Steps to Healthy Communication
Step:1
Before Engaging in communication, take the time to check your heart and work toward developing good communication by seeing it as GOD sees it…..
Ephesians 4:29 New International Version (NIV)
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:25 New International Version (NIV)
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
Step 2:
Next: let’s take a look at what our heart needs to get rid of and what it needs to center on:
Ephesians 4:31 New International Version (NIV)
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Ephesians 4:32 New International Version (NIV)
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Step 3:
When your heart is right, your communication should be ……
Purposeful: You are not reacting out of an emotional response but an intentional one
Holy: It is God-honoring and edifying, meaning you are taking the time to ask yourself " what will be their response( see it from their side) and think through your response (Eph 4) to the anticipated questions
Clear: It said clearly without a hidden agenda
Timely: it’s at a time when your heart is right (trusting in God), and you are physically rested, and the receiver is also.
Step 4:
Remember, GOD hears every word we say, and we are accountable to GOD for each word….
Matthew 12:36 New International Version (NIV)
36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.
Step 6:
Lastly, Listen well….
Proverbs 18:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.
Concentrate on and listen to what the other person is saying for understanding.
Do not interrupt.
Do not formulate a response while the other person is speaking.
Don’t talk excessively but allow the listener to process what is being said and clarify with questions, “Could you say that again?” or “ Is this what you were saying?”
Do not talk at the same time.
Body Language is also communicating what is in our heart, so be mindful of:
Voice volume- low, not shouting violating social norms and causing fear
Tone of voice- soft not harsh
Facial expressions- relaxed and warm not angry and stressed
Hand gestures- not pointing fingers or slamming objects
No sighing or snorting...
No rolling eyes
Refrain from judgmental facial expressions: a look of disgust, or amazement
Loving body posture- open with arms at your side or unloving, closed with crossed arms